Also..

I was reading over past blogs and came across a comment that said something like "you don't know I exist but I want to do it with you." Who wrote that????????!!!! Curiosity killed the cat I know but come on. I have to know who you are. Are you Ryan Gosling?! If so I know you exist, I do, I do! Anyways not like we will do it but hey you never know. ha. Grow some and tell me who you are mystery man or woman?

Fucking 29!

I am not one to get all sentimental and shit but wow 29!? I feel like i have blinked my eyes twice since i was 21. Where did it all go? I am sitting in my apartment all alone at 10:24 p.m. wandering, thinking about past birthdays. Always fun, always a party. Do birthdays get more dull as time flies by? I miss my friends from ohio. Honestly i am not sure if i should go out and get shitfaced right now (so i have a better story than "i watched gossip girl and rearranged my room," or stay here and embrace the facts.
Kate moved back to Florida my best girlfriend here is gone. Andy is the bees knees but we can't girl talk AND he has to wake up earlier than i'd like to discuss. Maybe I should just go to bed and pretend like it's another Monday night that isn't anything. If I do that can I stay 28?
Things have really reversed for me here in NY. I am actually pretty financially and career satisfied. I have no social skills left is the problem. Maybe i only had them to begin because it was liquid based.
We'll see what comes of it all...keep you posted.
KATE COME BACK I HATE IT WITHOUT YOU! xoxo Emily

I wish

there were more hours in a day sometimes. I would like for us all to be able to do all the things i would like to do and still get to cuddle with my handsome bf. Make dinners, watch movies, play scrabble, eat cupcakes, do crossword puzzles, make kissy face that leads up to something better of course and THEN sleep and make breakfast in the morning. Perfection. Too bad I can't pause time time or create it out of plastic bags from the bodegas. ha.
My birthday is next week. I have no friends that will be in town except Andy. We are going to dinner. I am very excited to get dressed up! Should I get my nails done and a massage? Or my hair done? I love to be pampered.
Dirty Dancing is on I'm outro.

sober

I have decided to quit drinking for a bit, maybe a long bit. I'm thinking birthday? Andy and I went on a pretty out of control rager this past weekend. I spent 200 dollars in one day on nothing...to feel like shit for 2 days. Just think I could have a cuisineart electric mixer, a new pair of shoes or even a plane ticket somewhere! Not cool. Casey is coming on monday and she is one of my best friends i know she would respect my decision to the fullest but i might enjoy a bottle of wine at a fancy dinner for some closure with her. Otherwise if you want to see me I will be out but, I will be sober. I might be baking. I may also be taking up knitting. Who KNOWS?! That's all i got for now. xoxo

i want. i want. i waaaaaant

-pogo polaroid camera
-electric mixer
-a fancy dinner once a week
-to cook dinner 6 nights a week
-to make people happy
-to bake more
-to run more
-to move to Fiji
That's all for now.
xoxo

kitties or doggies? tupac or biggie?

I have not written in a long time again! Brooklyn is great. I have met a lot of new friends. I have a great bartending job. I have been thinking about the next steps in my life. Through talking with a lot of people in the culinary field, I have learned that the school part is not important, self teaching and experience are the things to focus on. So I have been reading a lot and baking some.
I also have decided I will not be in NY for very long, two years max. I want to see stars, hang out where there are trees, smell fresh air etc.
I am headed off to a supposed cupcake master hanging out in union square this week.
xoxo

The game of LIFE

I have not written in awhile. I have not been writing in general. Which is something that keeps me sane and keeps my crazy brain glued together. I have lots of stuff going on right now. Almost all of it is good! I am leaving for Brooklyn on sunday morning. I am excited and anxious. I have many ideas in the works!
I do not have regrets. I am who I am. I hope that my heart is not being naive right now.
xoxo emily
I want some twizzlers RIGHT NOW!